Random Access Memory Two: My family are all far away from me. I miss them a lot, but I have plenty of memories and creating more everyday by constantly communicating to them. I am grateful for Ash, who’s there to share the burden of life with me. I am grateful for my brother, who allows me to be a kid sometimes. But without my parents, I won’t have Ash or my brother. My parents. This is an open letter for you.
Sundays, I FaceTime you, and you always smile when you see me onscreen, like I am something to behold despite my puffy morning face, unruly hair and grumpy demeanor. You are always there, cheering me on, telling me how you’re so proud of me even when I constantly say this is nothing to be proud of because I think I can do so much more. You remind me of the good things yet to come whenever my resolve fades and tears flow down. You tell me that I’ll see everyone soon enough when I miss you. The script changes. The only constant is that you smile whenever you see my face, rain or shine.
Both of you did this before I even realised how much it affects me as a person. Whenever I tried any endeavour, big or small: drawing at 4, badminton at 10, painting at 15, and passing med school tests at 21. You always smile, even if all these endeavours ended up in failure.
You sheltered me from the pain of failure, yet you pushed me. You let me try everything and anything, because you know I’ll be okay. I have you. I tried everything.
You worked hard, trying to balance our lives. You always put us, me and my brother, first. You were both extremely selfless adults, making sure that the children succeeded as much as possible, getting us all the tools we needed, all the books we wanted to read, all the experiences we craved even if we didn’t have much. You never complained about it all. You smiled and said, we’ll do it.
Actually, I never heard you complain about how expensive we are as your children. Now that I work, I can’t even begin to imagine how much money you invested in us, but I am forever thankful you did it.
You taught me that life is a win some, lose some game, and I can do whatever I want for I have time to learn. You have, time and time again, told me that life is all about learning to be better, that failure is never an option because failure is never there in the first place. It’s always a “price of information”.
Thank you mama and papa for never giving up on me. If I feel successful, you celebrate it with me, and when I feel like a failure, you always remind me that I can do better next time, maybe in a span of 24 hours (tomorrow is a new day, you’d say).
Thank you for listening to me rant. Thank you for letting me borrow your money and credit cards. Thank you for letting me be and trusting me with my own thoughts and life. Thank you for accepting my man as your own son.
Thank you for lovingly bitch slapping me when I needed to be bitch slapped. You provided me with the best possible experiences (good and bad) when I was growing up, which allowed me to dream. Thank you for letting me dream and equipping me to reach my dreams, which I am living now.
My dreams are getting bigger, and I know I will reach it because I know how it feels to live in it, thanks to you.
I can never thank you enough, Mama and Papa, but you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.